she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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