I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I touched a dick in church today
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize