Your dad touched me again.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
