WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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