I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
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You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
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I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
At least life still wants to fuck me.