MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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