Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.

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  (650): Not a fireman, but good enough for last night. http://tfl.nu/537l
  Replies (2) Good night (952) Bad night (468)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.

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  (636): 12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome. http://tfl.nu/wffb
  Replies (10) Good night (2688) Bad night (833)
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  (310): View more from California

  i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.

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  (310): i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that. http://tfl.nu/vq6l
  Replies (10) Good night (2674) Bad night (600)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....

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  (985): he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say.... http://tfl.nu/7igc
  Replies (41) Good night (1131) Bad night (2919)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?

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  (860): do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours? http://tfl.nu/hqbo
  Replies (46) Good night (2750) Bad night (8293)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain

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  (301): You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain http://tfl.nu/26nd
  Replies (10) Good night (4131) Bad night (1262)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.

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  (503): There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize. http://tfl.nu/694m
  Replies (8) Good night (4409) Bad night (1023)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.

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  (520): hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint. http://tfl.nu/kgm7
  Replies (11) Good night (3429) Bad night (899)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual

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  (864): she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual http://tfl.nu/fkyx
  Replies (3) Good night (1376) Bad night (812)
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  (818): View more from California

  I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire

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  (818): I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire http://tfl.nu/rfl8
  Replies (6) Good night (5828) Bad night (741)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.

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  (516): I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology. http://tfl.nu/5jdj
  Replies (6) Good night (574) Bad night (1025)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio

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  (302): Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio http://tfl.nu/5lxt
  Replies (9) Good night (2030) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?

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  (704): I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class? http://tfl.nu/l30v
  Replies (2) Good night (590) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...

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  (850): she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top... http://tfl.nu/vvwb
  Replies (3) Good night (174) Bad night (582)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning

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  (240): Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning http://tfl.nu/k63c
  Replies (0) Good night (382) Bad night (333)

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