it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
