Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No subtext here. People are naked.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
