In the future we'll all be gay
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
