Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
