did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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