go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
