I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
