Kiss
Puke
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
