Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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