i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
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fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
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Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
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