I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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