My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Houston, we have a blender
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
