i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
