Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
