I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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