At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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