You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
