What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
