You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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