thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
A+ Viking dick
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