I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
