Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
