I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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