Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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