i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
