I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
