after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
