the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
