I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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