my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
