Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize