Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
