I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
