i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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