I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
kristin has been a bad kristin
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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