my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize