all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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