More tranny stories later!
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
then he tried to convert me to islam
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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