sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
