i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You can't just leave with hair like that
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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