We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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