May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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