Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
