found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
