Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
