I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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