his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
