So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize