is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
