Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
