Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
