capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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