it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
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its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
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And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.