i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."