nut hugger
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it's like iHOP with fire
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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